Taking Care Of Your Mental Health As A Freelance Writer
Freelance writing has been a constant reminder that taking care of myself should always be a priority.
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Content warning: this post does contain a mention of a death by suicide. It also contains mental health resources at the bottom!
This past Sunday was World Mental Health Day. I spent it getting over a case of breakthrough COVID-19 just days before learning my vaccine was at the bottom of the pack in terms of effectiveness. I did not forget world Mental Health Day this year, so I wanted to take some time to address it. Specifically, I wanted to address Freelancer mental health.
My Pre-Freelance Backstory
Our office was not this welcoming.
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I began freelance copywriting just after leaving a job working as a tech support representative for a (very) well-known phone and computer company. As an introvert, it was hard for me to take a job like this because it required me to talk at length to strangers every day, ten hours a day, four days a week. Even if they had been the nicest people in the world, having to talk to people every day would have drained me mentally.
But, as anyone who has worked in customer service will tell you, customers are not the nicest people in the world. I ended up quitting my job without a backup plan because I was sick of coming home at the end of every workday crying and mentally exhausted.
As a senior tech advisor, I got the calls no one else wanted or could figure out. I got the angry customers, the crying customers, the customers who weren’t all there. It was a lot to take on -- one of my most challenging days was having to tell a father whose daughter had died by suicide that I couldn’t help him into her phone to get her pictures because we didn’t have access to phone passcodes. I could hear the heartbreak in his voice, but he at least was nice about it.
Thinking about this couple today still makes me want to throw up.
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The final straw I had at that job was getting assigned to a husband and wife who wanted to speak to a manager (me). They would not accept that their ancient device wasn’t equipped to handle some of the newer updates -- and that one of the apps they were using didn’t work correctly (the second-party app’s fault, not my former company’s fault) and were hell-bent on having someone at my company solve their problem. Since I was a “supervisor,” that meant me.
Because they were so angry, the customer service department monitored my interactions with them because they thought I was the issue. Company policy said that senior advisors (aka supervisors, aka me) had to work with a customer until we solved their problem. Which meant every day I went to work, I got to call and listen to them criticize me, call me stupid, and make fun of me until I couldn’t take it any longer. I handed in my two weeks’ notice, and my supervisor was shocked -- they had “no idea” I felt this way.
Work From Home Mental Health
I naively thought that working from home would solve all my mental health issues -- and for a while, it did help! I was much happier not having to speak to angry customers each day, and over the moon that for the most part, I didn’t have to do too much talking over the phone.
But mental health from a work-from-home standpoint is another can of worms. I might not be getting yelled at all day, every day, seven days a week -- but I ended up battling with myself and the reality of an unreliable income on an almost daily basis.
The truth? A career change will not address mental health issues altogether. If you’re depressed, you’re going to have to get help with that depression. Have anxiety? It’s not going to disappear without professional help.
Changing careers was a step in the right direction, but not because it magically fixed things -- it helped me identify more significant issues and how they impacted my life.
Issues I Dealt With & How I Dealt With Them
As much as I wanted working in bed to be the answer to all my problems, working in bed didn’t help!
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Rather than dealing with issues as they came along, I found myself worrying much more about future issues, often in the form of intrusive thoughts. Some of the most intrusive thoughts I dealt with daily:
You’re not living up to your highest potential.
You’re a pushover, and that’s not good when you’re a copywriter.
You’re not making enough money as a freelance writer.
Your poet friends are doing poet-y things, and you’re not.
You couldn’t even make it as an adjunct writing professor.
You’re never going to be able to make a living writing professionally.
For a while, every time I ran into an issue with my freelance career, I found myself spiraling into a bout of self-hatred, which only made things worse. This only really changed when I started seeking professional mental health. My counselor was able to identify that I struggled a lot with self-esteem and unresolved childhood trauma and that I needed to take some time to address those issues.
Some of the ways I did that?
I committed to go to therapy once a week and work through the resources my counselor gave me.
When I didn’t have access to my counselor, I used free mental health resources like Seven Cups Of Tea to chat with others.
I stuck to a weekly routine, even when I didn’t have work to do that day. It would often start with household chores so that I wasn’t distracted by a dirty house.
I made an effort to groom myself and look presentable, even if I had no meetings.
I stepped outside at least once a day (which honestly wasn’t fun because for a while I lived in deep South Texas, where it got into the mid-eighties in March)
I learned to forgive myself when I didn’t stick to routine, and I learned to recognize the signs of burnout preventing me from sticking to that routine.
I finally acknowledged that I needed more help than therapy and meditation could provide -- so I started taking an antidepressant.
I want to reinforce that even as I write this, I am still working on bettering my mental health, one tiny step at a time.
I still fear looking at certain emails, even if I know not looking at them will make it worse.
I still struggle with self-doubt and negative self-talk, though now I try to stop it before I get too engrossed in it.
I still struggle with staying on task and paying attention during my workday, though I have found ways to cope with this. (See my previous blog).
The most important thing to remember is that mental health awareness and upkeep will always be an ongoing practice -- and that you’re not alone, whether you’re struggling or doing well.
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Mental Health Resources:
These are some resources I have used in the past. They can help, especially if you are in a tough financial spot. But, if I can recommend anything, it’s to get mental health help from a professional. There are resources below that can help you do that.
Sliding Scale Mental Health Provider Lookup
Government Assistance For Mental & Physical Health Issues
National Institute Of Mental Health Crisis Line
Stay safe and know you’re loved, writers!